Wednesday, October 24, 2012

I am truly blessed

I have a male friend with whom I have the neatest relationship.  We are not “in love” but truly love each other.  Since we have known each other, we both have been in relationships with other people and that’s okay.  There is no jealousy involved; we are both genuinely happy for the other, as long as they are happy.  We are very open with each other about any and every thing.  There have been times when we are both single that we ‘hook up’.  We easily transition from friends to lovers and back.  I would do anything in the world for him as he would for me. 
He is coming over this weekend and we are both quite excited about that.  I cautioned him that I have to go to church on Sunday as I am putting flowers on the altar in memory of my Mom.  To my surprise and delight he asked to go with me.  He is not a church type guy at all but wants to be there with and for me because I sometimes have a tough time with this service. 
I am very grateful and blessed to have this amazing guy in my world!  

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


I called Greg’s step mother Connie last weekend and told her to let Greg know that at 1pm on October 20 I was going to start dragging Greg’s stuff outside.  Greg and his Dad were here on Wednesday and Friday and to no one’s surprise did not show up on Saturday.  Again I called Connie and said the stuff was going out on Monday when I got home from work.  My stomach was upset all Monday morning.  I got home at lunch to find Greg had left 3 messages on my voice mail saying he can’t move the stuff until Wednesday.  I spent the next half hour throwing up and ended up not going back to work.  Greg and his Dad did come over and I was hoping they were going to finally take everything but no such luck.  My stomach was still pretty upset Tuesday so booked off work sick.  I am determined that whatever stuff of Greg’s is left in the garage when I get home from work on Wednesday I am taking it outside.  I am not making a phone call about it in advance.  The garage door is unlocked so Greg can access the garage to get his crap while I am at work on Wednesday.  I need this to be done.  I can’t start to heal and/or move on when every time I walk out my front door or pull in my driveway I am faced with Greg’s motorcycle in my driveway.  I cannot keep going on like this.  I am sure all this crap is what is causing my ongoing stomach problems.  It was July 23 when I told Greg it was over and today is October 23.  I made things way too good for Greg here and he does not want to let go but I am so very done! 

Monday, October 22, 2012

appreciating friends

We meet people on Facebook or Blogger that slowly become friends. We talk as if we have known each other our entire lives. Regardless of the distance between us, we act as if we are sitting next to one another. We like their photos ... We share our lives ... We learn about the other states or Countries where they live. ... Virtual friends are important... to say good morning or good evening, a compliment or even sharing a joke! These are small actions that make us smile!! 
I have 'met' some pretty amazing people that I consider close friends even though we have never actually met in person!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

can you believe this came from sweet innocent ME?!?!

"Can't wait to see you.  Have a long list of stuff for you to do ... starting with ME"

I could tell you who(m) I sent it to but then I would have to kill you ... LOL

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

suggestions welcome!

Greg and his father Paul showed up just after I got home on October 17. Paul came to the door to see if they could pick up some stuff.  Paul wanted to know if Greg could pick up some stuff over the next few days. I said I didn't want Greg just showing up. Paul said he will make sure he comes with Greg; I said that was okay. 
I went out and asked Greg to sign the Final Order from our Judicial Case Conference.  He said he already signed a document at the JCC.  I explained it has to be signed again; he did not want to do that without clarification.  I signed the form and gave it to him to take to the court house.
Don't know why but after they left I started to cry and still feel quite weepy.  What is going on with me?

ADDENDUM OCT 18 - After giving it some thought my pop psychology answer is that last night I was doing the grieving I would have done months ago had I not been dealing with the stupid shit.  There were a lot of good moments in the relationship and I do need to take time to grieve that. 
It is hard to not think of him every day when his motorcycle is still sitting in my driveway; a tangible reminder of him every time I leave the house.  I think it will be easier once all his shit is gone.  

little old lady (?!?!?) with blue hair

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Enough is enough

I called and spoke with Greg’s step mother Connie yesterday.  I told her I have been more than patient but am tired of waiting for Greg.  Therefore next Saturday October 20 at 1pm I am going to start taking what is left of his stuff here (safe, generator, motorcycle, box of electronics, bag of clothes, old computers and tools) out to the curb.  From there I do not care who picks it up. 
I told Connie I had called yesterday because I knew they would be speaking with Greg this weekend so I know he will get the message.   Saturday was Greg’s birthday, Sunday is Connie’s birthday.
On July 23 I told Greg it was over and I wanted him to leave.  He left here on August 07.  On August 10 I paid for a storage unit for a month and Greg's ex wife and kids and I moved all Greg's stuff from the house to the storage unit.  On September 11 Greg signed a legal document that he would pick up the rest of his stuff on September 22.  
In essence Greg has done nothing with regard to packing and/or moving his belongings.  He just turned 46 years old so I think it is time that HE take responsibility for HIS belongings and life! 

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Gotta like that ...

Had a meeting with my boss`s boss on Wednesday.  She complimented me on how well I am doing at work and how well I am doing personally. I worked hard to get where I am mentally and professionally and it felt really good to have that validated.  Then today a friend and coworker commented on how much different I look lately; much more relaxed and at ease.  
Amazing what losing a bunch of weight (about 260 pounds) can do for a girl! 

Monday, October 08, 2012


  • Although I am truly blessed with amazing friends here, Thanksgiving is so family focused that it makes me really miss my Dad, brothers, nieces and nephew. 
  • At some point during the month I write and submit memorials to go in the newspapers on November 01 in memory of my Mom. 
  • I am not interested nor do I participate in Halloween but it is everywhere. 
  • I arrange for flowers on the altar at church the last Sunday of the month in memory of my Mom then attend that church service.  
  • October 08 would have been my [22nd in 2012 if you are keeping track] wedding anniversary had my life gone differently. I did not make it to the altar; I got dumped exactly two months before the wedding date. Some years I do not even think about it but other years it is very prominent in my mind. 
  • The first time I had to have my dog put down was October 25 2002. 
  • The weather goes from generally not bad in September to downright nasty in October. We always have snow before Halloween.

Friday, October 05, 2012

Under Construction...

Yup, just like the title of this post says..."blog is under construction" if you didn't notice already, hahaha. So come back soon for a new layout and more blog post.