I sent him an email “Don’t
want to be insensitive but can I ask what happened? Had she been ill?”
He responded with “Yes she
had, a lot worse than we knew. She had a
lot of pain, and made the decision to stop it and not have the family suffer as
well, and took her own life. She is a
peace, no pain, and probably telling God how to run his gardens. It is a positive thing.”
I
emailed a mutual friend to ensure she was aware of what was going on and told
her “What I heard was she was very ill
and took her own life”.
She
responded with “No she was not that ill. She had
some aches and pains – shit that comes with old age. However, the main
issue was depression.“
As someone
that has battled depression for more than half my life, this is kind of a hot
button for me. I know all too well the
mental and physical pain associated with depression. I have been fortunate to have good mental
health professionals when fighting depression or I could have very well taken
the same path as my friend’s wife.
It blows my
mind that this quite intelligent friend would say “she was not that ill” about a person that suffered from depression
bad enough to take her own life. It is
the year 2012; I thought people had realized that depression is a serious
mental illness, not a personal choice. Trust me there is not a person in the world that would deliberately make the choice to suffer with depression!
RIP J
RIP J
I presume depression is something that can be cured or kept off at bay if the environment is good and conducive.
ReplyDeleteI don't think depression is ever cured it is just controlled. If a person is prone to depression the environment does not matter.
DeleteA few years ago, I went through a bad spout of depression and the only thing besides meds that helped, WAS removing myself from the negative environment that I was in. So, I guess it would depend on the individual, the degree of depression and the 'kind' of depression that someone is experiencing. Think about it for a second. If the people in your household or others that you interact with are happy and content, aren't you more likely to be happy yourself? If you are going to work everyday to fight a losing battle and deal with negative hardships of reality, it is only a matter of time before your job starts to bring you down too. Sometimes, when we make even the smallest change in our environment constructively, it does not necessarily cure us of depression, but allows us to see things in a different perspective and break free of the binds that tie us down to negativity. Maintaining a healthy environment, both at work and at the home front is the foundation of all good relationships and a stable foundation to healthy living... both in mind and spirit.
DeleteI know for me, had I not been removed from the environment that I was in, no amount of meds or counselling would have done me any good.
Very sorry to hear about your friend. It's easy to judge others when you can 'see' the wounds they possess but when it comes to depression, the wounds are inside and unless the person speaks up or shows a lasting pattern of depression symptoms, it's really hard for someone to intervene.
ReplyDeleteMay she rest in peace.
Thank you for coming to visit my blog and becoming a follower. I suffer from depression too but I keep on going!
ReplyDeleteBeth