I sent him an email “Don’t want to be insensitive but can I ask what happened? Had she been ill?”
He responded with “Yes she had, a lot worse than we knew. She had a lot of pain, and made the decision to stop it and not have the family suffer as well, and took her own life. She is a peace, no pain, and probably telling God how to run his gardens. It is a positive thing.”
I emailed a mutual friend to ensure she was aware of what was going on and told her “What I heard was she was very ill and took her own life”.
She responded with “No she was not that ill. She had some aches and pains – shit that comes with old age. However, the main issue was depression.“
As someone that has battled depression for more than half my life, this is kind of a hot button for me. I know all too well the mental and physical pain associated with depression. I have been fortunate to have good mental health professionals when fighting depression or I could have very well taken the same path as my friend’s wife.
It blows my mind that this quite intelligent friend would say “she was not that ill” about a person that suffered from depression bad enough to take her own life. It is the year 2012; I thought people had realized that depression is a serious mental illness, not a personal choice. Trust me there is not a person in the world that would deliberately make the choice to suffer with depression!